The Facilitator

Each meeting has a facilitator who holds the space, guides the flow, and helps the group make decisions together. This role is not fixed - it rotates among members from meeting to meeting. Because the role is well-defined and the guidelines are clear, anyone in the group can step into it and bring their own style and approach to it.

The facilitator’s job is to enable the group’s collective wisdom, not to dictate what happens. Decisions about activities are made together: sometimes by vote, sometimes by group discussion, sometimes by the facilitator’s intuition in the moment. When the group has diverging preferences, it’s also fine to split into subgroups so everyone can do what works best for them.

Each gathering is 100% adaptable, but here is a typical structure:

Arrival and Grounding

A gentle opening where participants land in the space and settle in before the work begins. This could include:

  • Taking a few slow deep breaths
  • A short meditation, with or without music, to help everyone relax and arrive fully
  • Holding hands in a circle

Check-in Circle

Each person shares briefly how they are feeling right now, and how they would like to feel by the end of the meeting. This gives everyone a voice from the very first moment, helps the group tune into each other, and gives the facilitator a sense of where people are so the meeting can be shaped accordingly.

Brief Review of the Principles and Structure

The facilitator explains the principles that guide the gathering, and then the meeting’s structure. This is the time to ask questions and clarify any doubts. Participants may also propose modificaitons to the principles and the structure.

Setting Intentions

Participants share what they want to experience this time, by answering these questions:

  • What does “connection” mean for me now? See also here.
  • What to I need to feel comfortable to be my real self in this group?
  • What would I like to feel during this event?
  • What benefits do I hope to gain from this event?

Choosing an activity

There is a rich menu of possible activities. We have several printed lists in front of us to remind us of the possibilities.

When we want to start a new activity, usually we vote on it: Each participant places three tokens on their preferred activities. The activity that got the most tokens is chosen. If there are ties, they are resolved in the next step.

However, in some rounds, the meeting facilitator decides on the next activity based on his or her intuition and feel of the group. In particular, to either:

Reflecting and refining the activity

  • After choosing an activity, we do NOT immediately start doing it.
  • Instead, we take a moment and reflect on the activity, with awareness and consciousness, so that each person can see what they feel about the activity and whether they want to participate or just sit on the side and watch.
  • Participation is always voluntary. There is never any requirement or expectation for you to participate, it’s perfectly legitimate to choose not to.
  • Participants can also suggest variations on the activity, to make them more effective and tailor them to the group and the current situation.

Doing the activity

We do the activity (whoever wants to). We do it together, with deliberate intention and awareness to how we feel.

Some activities are done with the entire group interacting together. Others are done in small groups, but after going it, everyone returns to the larger group to talk about it.

Sharing feelings and drawing conclusions

When the activity is over, we take a moment to share, reflect, and analyze how it went. We are curious to check whether the activity really made us feel more connected or improved how we feel. We ask:

  • How did you feel doing the experience?
  • How do you feel now?
  • What stood out or felt meaningful?
  • What do you take with you?

We draw conclusions which we can apply in the next iteration. Sometimes we realize we need a slight modification of the activity to make it more effective.