Our gatherings are guided by the following agreements.

Co-creation

  • Participants actively decide together on the activities, rather than passively follow the host’s lead.
  • Participants are encouraged to propose variations on the activities.
  • Each participant can creatively suggest additional activities, and they are added to the menus.

Mutual Respect and Support

  • We treat each other with kindness and respect.
  • We create a safe and supportive environment where everyone feels comfortable to express themselves and grow.
  • Our aim is to truly connect and help each other, not to judge or criticize.
  • The default tone for feedback is compassionate directness. However, a person may explicitly request more blunt, challenging feedback if that is what they feel they need (to “call out one’s bullshit”), and others may honor that request to the extent they are comfortable doing so.

Creating a Special Feeling

One of the clearest signs that the Actualization Club is working as intended is this: The experience is so enjoyable, so uplifting, so inspiring, and so alive that participants genuinely look forward to the next meeting. This is not left to chance. Read more about it here.

Confidentiality

What others share or do in the group stays in the group - we do not talk about that outside of the meeting.

However, you are free, and even encouraged, to share with anyone your own personal experience and transformation. Telling others about your own growth helps the club’s impact spread, without violating the trust of your fellow members.

If we take photos or videos at our gatherings, this is done only with the consent of everyone visible in them.

Balanced Airtime

When someone is speaking, we give them the space to finish without interrupting. Concomitantly, each person takes responsibility not to dominate the conversation at the expense of others. Both principles matter equally.

The facilitator watches for this balance and can gently step in if someone is taking up too much space, so that everyone’s voice gets heard.

Feedback Respects Each Person’s Autonomy

If you have feedback, advice, or a suggestion for another participant, you should first ask whether they are open to receiving it (rather than offering unsolicited advice). Only if they say yes, you may proceed.

This keeps the group from becoming a place where people try to fix each other uninvited. It honors everyone’s autonomy and ensures that help is only given when it is actually wanted.

Willing Participation

We aspire to keep an open mind and a genuine willingness to try new activities. At the same time, no one is ever required or pressured to do anything against their wishes. If an activity doesn’t feel right for you at this moment, even if everyone else wants to do it, it is completely fine for you to sit on the side and watch. Your personal autonomy is always honored without judgment or peer pressure.

Authenticity

Authenticity is at the heart of our interactions. We encourage everyone to bring their true selves, embracing vulnerability and honesty. By being authentic, we create a space where genuine connection and growth can flourish, free from artificiality, pretense, and facade. Whether you feel joyful or uncertain, shy or expressive, there is room for your real self, not the one shaped by expectations or societal norms. This openness strengthens our bonds and fosters an environment where everyone feels valued and understood.

In practice, this means sharing from your own inner world: your desires, feelings, strengths, and struggles. The honesty that matters here is self-disclosure, i.e. transparency about what is true for you, rather than pronouncements about others.

Playful Structure

Structure brings safety and methodology. Play brings life. The Actualization Club balances both through clear activity options that adjust as the group evolves, and bringing an atmosphere of playfulness into our interactions.

Effectiveness

The activities on the menus are tools. The important thing is the goal of really connecting with each other, and helping each other make progress towards our dreams and who we want to become. Therefore, after each activity we share how we feel and think in order to check whether the activity really did move us towards our goal.

We treat the meeting as a fun and exciting experimental research lab, where we try out different ideas and see what actually works best for us.

Gentle Exploration of the Edge of Our Comfort Zone

See Comfort Zone vs. Stretch Zone for details.