“Ask and It Is Given!” is a group activity in which we share our “wish lists” and help each other make these wishes come true. Sometimes all you need to do is ask.

How it works

This activity works in a similar way to a “gifting circle”:

Participants do the following:

  • Wish List: Each participant writes down a list of wishes and shares it with the group. This can be conducted in a circle, where each participant takes a turn to present their list. Or everyone can hang their lists on the wall in a “dream board”, or write their list in a shared google doc, and then everyone takes time to read the lists of others.
  • Offer List: Each participant mentions what they can offer the group (e.g. what knowledge and skills they have that may be useful for others). This can be done in a circle or using lists on a wall or in a shared google doc.
  • Matching: In the classic style, matching happens when one participant hears or reads the wish of another participant and says he/she can help make the wish of the other person come true. Also when one participant hears or reads the offer of another participant and says he/she would be happy to receive this offer. Yet now with existing AI, the wish lists and offer lists can be supplied to an LLM (such as ChatGPT or Claude), and ask the LLM to do the matching.
  • Success Stories: Participants share how they made progress on their wish lists thanks to the collaboration they received from the group. This gives encouragement and injects excitement, showing that the format really works.

Examples

Here are some examples of the kind of wishes participants may include in their lists:

  • I wish to go on a short hike in nature
  • I wish to tone my body
  • I wish to find more clients for my business
  • I wish to find people to give me feedback on the book draft I’m writing
  • I wish to get a massage
  • I wish to have a girlfriend
  • I wish someone would practice Spanish with me once a week
  • I wish for an accountability buddy for a project deadline
  • I wish to visit the museum with one or more people instead of alone
  • I wish someone would join me for gym sessions

People have many things they can offer, more than they may realize at first. Here are some examples of the kind of offers participants may include in their lists:

  • I can share my knowledge and experience on how to enhance the body’s fitness level
  • I can share my knowledge and experience on how to create a personal website
  • I can share my knowledge and experience on how to create a successful business
  • I can offer a massage
  • I can take profile photos or short video clips for your project
  • I can teach you the basics of fixing a bike or simple home repairs
  • I can teach you about my meditation practice

Inspiration

A related book is: “The List: Shout Your Dreams Out Loud to Make Them Come True”. “What if the secret to making your personal and professional dreams come true was simply… to share them?” The author tells how he created a blog website where he wrote a list of things he wanted, and then started asking everyone to help him get these things. And it worked! He got a lot of help from many people. And then he encouraged other people to also write their wish list and overcome their fear of sharing it with everyone.

A related talk is: “How to get what you really want, even if you have no goals, no character, and you’re often in a lousy mood - Isolation is the dream-killer, not your attitude”. In this talk, the speaker tells how she ran an emotional processing group, and they started helping each other achieve things they want. It started with helping on of the members find a new apartment, they had a renovation party there, and later even managed to find him a woman after they helped him dress better. They got someone into and through law school and she later started a law firm. They helped someone adopt a kid. They helped the speaker create a workshop - she went around the country teaching people how to run similar success teams. And other amazing examples. The key is to share your dream and your obstacle, getting everyone’s mind thinking how to solve this problem.